[MULTI] | HERE I AM [vent]





/// vid AND desc contain references to various types of abuse ///
—-
Why is that you could only see the worst in me?
I swear sometimes I feel like it nurtures me
But to keep it all real, it’s kinda hurting me
I could say I’m done with it, but it lurks in me
So I’m a just tell myself that it works for me
———————–
i used all characters that i relate to for this. had to get some Shit Outta My System. I made this about 2 weeks ago? havent found the right time to upload it. deals with things that have happened to me in the past.
i’ve gone through various physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in my past and its left it’s mark on me. its been almost 10 years since my mother died and ive mostly moved on but there are times where it really hits me. i wish she could see me go to college, meet people important to me. my friends, loves. see how much i’ve improved. that my anger issues have gotten so much better.
but i also wish i could show my various abusers that ive moved on and “fuck you” but i can only really do that by living. and for the most part i keep it inside so that i seem strong. but i’m not 100% strong. i am strong. but im also human. my relation to various characters has really helped me a lot as far as giving me an outlet. its nice. my friends and my animals have obviously helped me tremendously as well. but sometimes the things that have happened to me really bring me down. i know im more than them.
hear me roar.

i guess as an afterthought it hurts that people in this community have mocked/judged me for some of the awful shit that’s happened to me in the past and that’s just a darn shame and a sign that (no duh) the editing community will go for the balls when there’s a problem.

CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS/WHY RELATE:
terezi – homestuck
(dragon, weird, licks people. went through shitty relationships and a highly abusive one, justice complex, extra weird.)

hinata – haikyuu!!
(cute, happy, determined. proud to be from where he’s from. often looked down upon but ready to prove he’s better than they think.)

axel – kingdom hearts
(also weird, snarky. has gone through a lot of bullshit and is a shell of his former self. afraid of his own feelings.)

maxie – pokemon
(dumb nerd. went too far and got in over his head and had to learn from his mistakes. i also like edgy, non canon groudon possessed maxie lol)

seiya – sailor moon
(cocky, sad unrequited love, nonbinary, highly defensive of their loved ones.)

rodimus – transformers
(emo, absolutely ridiculous and cocky in the vein of axel and terezi, gets in over his head, runs on “rodimus logic”, a bit self centered but still cares about his friends)

tohru – miss kobayashi’s dragon maid
(dragon. needy, over emotional, loves their significant other so much, licks people, weird, not very bright/flighty, too affectionate, gay. technically has ptsd)

honoka – love live
(not very bright/flighty, gay, wants to do her best, similar to hinata and tohru, talented. loooves her friends and has high ambitions that are sometimes too high, BREAD)

nico – love live
(awful little gremlin, a brat, self centered, big ego, has to learn from her mistakes and learn that she’s not the center of attention, talks big but is actually just a little baby)

amethyst – steven universe
(weird, messy, has awful self esteem issues, no social convention.)

d.va – overwatch
(nico but also a warrior, plays too many video games, has an attitude problem)

elsa – frozen
(quite mentally ill, very alone/estranged for a long time. needs to learn how to properly social, dead parent, ice is cool)

kris – pokemon
(cares about her friends, doesnt let her disabilities stop her, confident, a bit dramatic)

uraraka – boku no hero academia
(cares about her friends, like honoka: sweet +too many ambitions/big ones. noble. not very bright/flighty.

if u read this far: dam bitch ur rad.
anyway thats about all i got. thank you for watching/reading etc. i love all of my subs/smeps members so much and thank you for supporting me since 2010 ;w;

song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T_gjMxISI_M

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